Observations — Why?

I walk regularly; part of a larger regimen to keep the rusty hinge moving (figuratively speaking) — I could go on about some awful bike training but it would be just self-serving and slightly tragic, so I won’t. Regardless, I was walking the other day and a brief but thought-provoking exchange happened.

Shortly into my walk, a woman passing me motioned she had something to say. I stopped and smiled as she asked me if I would like to have a website address that reviews the major religions of the world and reviews great works such as the Bible and the Koran.

To that, I simply responded, “Why?” She looked at me, and with little thought, said she always asks people she meets on her walks. I smiled and said no.

Wishing her a great day I continued on my way.

I wondered why I said no? Ultimately, the reason turned out to be that I didn’t like the answer to my question. If she had said something along the lines of, “We put this website together because we have found that people, no matter their backgrounds, are more similar than we realize. With similar beliefs and truths, that in the end, show why people should be working together, rather than fighting each other“ I might have said, “Yes.” It definitely would have been a better answer than, “I ask people who I meet.”

A very long time ago I was told that Why is a very confrontational question — it’s the type of question that gets people’s hackles up. People don’t like to be asked why? It’s too direct; I was told you need to couch your search for reasons indirectly and smooth over any offence that comes with simply wanting to increase your critical understanding. (As an aside, read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius for inspiring thoughts on critical understanding.)

So why would one little world be considered confrontational? I actually think it quickly exposes whether someone actually knows why they are doing whatever they are doing. It forces the need to articulate thoughts, explains rationale of action, and exposes critical thinking and understanding. It is a word to be embraced because it forces an answer, or in the case of the lovely woman I met on my walk, a non-answer.

And for those who want to say why is a bad question because the obvious answer is why-not or because — all I can say is you are not giving a serious question it’s due. And people will say no more than you would like.

iamgpe

The Gladstone — shifting perspective.

Situated in West Queen West, one of Toronto’s most creative neighbourhoods, the reimagined Gladstone House maintains its emphasis on culture, art, and diversity, while ensuring the building’s rich history and iconic original architecture remain preserved. Featured in Michelins‘ Toronto Hotel Guide, the celebrated boutique hotel, steeped in history, features restored exposed brick walls, curated local art and innovative lighting applications that transition throughout the day, bringing the building to life (Taken directly from their website)

It was only by circumstance that brought me to the Gladstone for a little under a week, and my only endorsement would be the elevator is very cool, the kitchen is amazing, and they make a fine Manhattan.

In under a week, I have:

• Gotten a pile of work done.

• Wrote a couple of blogs.

• Was reminded how amazing my daughter is, even as she questions how hip I think I am.

• Was reminded how honoured I am to have a great circle of friends.

• Learned more than I thought I would from an U of T alumni sponsored on-line course — Needs, Circumstance, Characteristics, Capacity and the Scripts. All dictate how we approach our life and greater than I appreciated. It has offered new language to navigate the human condition.

• Was reminded that diversity is strength.

• Was reminded everything is possible

In one of the conversations during the week, and as the universe is apt to do, the Gladstone was explained:

“I need to see issues and ideas from all sides, so people sometimes feel I am not "siding" with them, or criticizing them, when I am truly just curious and considering all possible perspectives....”*

The Gladstone allowed me to shift my perspective and because of this, things happened. Does shifting perspective make things happen? No. What shifting perspectives offers is a broader view of current situations, challenges preconceived notions, and in theory**, offers a clearer picture — it is with this, that you can make new things happen.

On the third floor of the Gladstone is a beautiful pool table for the guests to use at their leisure — what I noticed is from one angle there is no shot but as you move around the table, the shot you didn’t see, comes into view. How’s that for an analogy? Is any of this earth shattering or a monumental shift; not at all, but the journey is taken with small steps — one foot in front of the other.

Gladstone[verb]: to change perspective. Example: I’m just don’t see it, it’s time to Gladstone.

iamgpe

* Shayva Steinberg

**I say in theory because you must be open to seeing situations differently.